Dear Sweet Friends: It’s been so long since I wrote you all. My life continues to be a journey of deepening and opening, not always comfortable, but always waking me up a little more. I hope you enjoy reading this whole darn thing 
Thank you! I Love You!
I’ve just returned from an incredible wilderness retreat in the deserts of eastern Utah. I have always wanted to go to that area, so when my dear friend Chery suggested that we do just that, I heard YES! One of the special things about this trip was that it would be led by Chery’s dear friend Junius who is an expert in that area and in the ancient Rock Art of the indigenous people who lived there 6-8000 years ago.
Even though I had a feeling that the trip would be great, I was completely unprepared for the impact the landscape would have on me. Junius’s knowledge of the place allowed us the opportunity to be the only people at most places we went. He led us in such a way that we felt like we were discovering everything for the first time. In this way the land drew me in to it’s secrets, opened me up and emptied me out completely. My mind became quiet and allowed insights to flood in that are otherwise lost in the torrent of city noise and stimulation.
I had some amazing experiences, some that would take a long time to tell. I had ancient ones speak to me, I had the land itself speak to me. I had inspiration fill me so deeply that I literally overflowed. I felt the insignificance of my life in relationship to a desert landscape that was carved from a 65 million year-old ocean. Simultaneously I felt the complete import of every thought and action I take as they ripple out energetically into the world. In the quiet of the place these ripples were obvious, not subtle at all. They made me walk carefully, slow down, breathe in and exhale with more clarity.
In the face of these experiences, it is impossible to hold on to much. I found myself letting go at a deeper level than I have known before. Ideas of who I am, where I came from, what I am doing, why I am here, shoulds, coulds, would haves, all melted away into the sandstone. It became hard to speak at times.
During the trip I was given a clear message about my music — what it is, why I am playing it and what it is for in the world. I have never thought of myself as a healer (and still don’t), yet it was clear in this mandate that my music is a healing. I sing about the messy journey of the heart. It is often hard to speak about our personal heart journeys and so we often hold our inner experiences to ourselves. In Utah I heard that in singing about things that are hard to encompass in spoken words I will be helping all of us. It is a fact that when we sing, a different part of our brain is active, than when we speak and it’s the same when we are listening to some one singing. There are things which can be heard and understood in a song that can’t be heard or understood in speech. When I sing about the heart’s journey I encourage that part in all of us that wants to wake up, doesn’t have a clue how to do it and is often scared to death at having to feel all of the feelings related to the loss of identity and disorientation that occurs along the way.
I had a beautiful opportunity to play a “Messy Journey of the Heart” House Concerts in Albuquerque and found that people were deeply moved and left feeling connected to their own hearts, to one anther and to me.It was an awe-inspiring experience. I want to create more opportunities for people to come together with their messy hearts!
Soon I am going to be sending a request for you to host a “Messy Journey of the Heart” House Concert for your friends and family. I hope you will consider taking me up on this request. It is really easy to do and will bring your community closer to one another. If you don’t know what a House Concert is, no worries — it’s really just a gathering where the focus is music. I’ll play for you right in your living room.
If you are already interested in hosting a “Messy Journey of the Heart” House Concert right now, just hit reply
I am sending you a breath of fresh desert air. Air that was once an ocean.
I Love You.
Halelupe
